


Dead or Alive

by Pale Rider (Boothros)



Category: The Professionals (TV 1977)
Genre: COVID-19, M/M, Older Lads (The Professionals)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28594767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boothros/pseuds/Pale%20Rider
Summary: It's the UK's third national lockdown and Bodie and Doyle are somewhere between tetchiness and indifference...
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Dead or Alive

“You bored yet?”

“I was bored before…”

“What before lockdown, when we were free to _do_ things?”

“What like parascending and potholing and all the things we _normally_ do unlike ordinary people who sit in front of the telly and get drunk before nine o’clock?”

“No need to be facetious, Raymond. It’s just they said on the wireless, quizzes and games could be a good way to get through it.”

“I’ve been attempting to _get through it_ for nearly forty years, Bodie, but please say what’s on your mind, as I’m sure I won’t get any peace until you do.”

“Okay then, how about a game of Dead or Alive?”

“Must we?”

“Well not if you really don’t want to…”

“Will you stop pouting if I do?”

“I don’t pout!”

“Okay, okay, we’ll play Dead or flippin’ Alive, I’ll go first - Cowley.”

“Oh, that’s easy, dead.”

“Well done, Bodie! It must be your go now then.”

“Well, we _did_ both attend his funeral and if you’re not gonna take this seriously, I can always go and surf the net maybe find myself a good chatroom or something with some _interesting_ people to talk to…”

“Okay, okay, I’ll take the damn thing seriously if I must, it’s still your go though.”

“Ooh good, okay then, Jack Crane.”

“Alive.”

“Is he?”

“Oh for pities sake Bodie, you can’t ask if you don’t know the answer yourself, otherwise how we gonna know who wins?”

“Well do _you_ know then?”

“Do I know what?”

“Jack Crane, Dead or Alive?”

“Oh alive, least he was in June, we got a postcard from him from Cuba.”

“Oh, was that from Jack _Crane_ , I thought it was from Cusak!”

“What the hell would _Cusak_ be doing in Cuba?”

“I dunno, island hopping maybe? He was in Ecuador the last I heard…”

“I won’t even ask what he was getting up to there, though I could give it a pretty good guess. Anyway, my go, Jimmy Keller.”

“Alive as of two weeks ago.”

“And how exactly would _you_ know _that_?”

“He emailed me.”

“Did he indeed?”

“Yeah, to let me know how he’s been getting on. Making a new start in the Scottish Highlands apparently…”

“And just how long have you been emailing each other exactly?”

“Oh, for heavens sake, Ray, once in a blue moon since he got out and that’s when I could be arsed to reply. If you’re gonna have one of your jealous hissy fits, it’s _my_ go and _I_ ask, Margery Harper, Dead or Alive?”

“Dead.”

“Oh no, when was that?”

“Last March, liver cancer. Garbett called CI5 to let them know her informing days were over and when the funeral was.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Ray, _really._ Didn’t you want to go?”

“We were locked down at the time and apparently so many wanted to attend there was a huge punch up outside the crem’!”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me any of this!”

“You had ‘flu at the time if you remember and we were so worried it might be COVID, I didn’t even think of it once you were better.”

“Strewth, ‘Dead or Alive’ _is_ depressing, isn’t it?”

“Well, _you_ started it!”

“Yeah and we don’t wanna peak too soon, we’ve got weeks of this to go yet, what say we put the game on hold and grab a beer?”

“Is it nine o’clock yet?”

“Nowhere near.”

“Right answer, Bodie, mine’s a lager!”

“Oh, I’m getting them then, am I?”

“Well you _did_ offer…”

“Um, don’t really remember that, but I _will_ if you answer me one last Dead or Alive.”

“Oh, for _Christ’s_ sake, go on then, ask me!”

“Okay, your love for me, Raymond, Dead or Alive?”

“Oh for the love of God, as if you need telling you soul sucking leech, fucking ALIVE AND KICKING as well you know, now bring me my beer!”

“Always nice to hear it put so sweetly, dearest!”

“And stop looking so smug!”

“Yes, dear. Anything you say dea—"

“Bodayyyy!”

_There were few people either Bodie or Doyle_ _could imagine being locked-down with for more than five minutes except for each other. Fortunately, nearly a lifetime together ensured the walls of their bubble would only strengthen as time went on and dead or alive,_ _the love between them was everlasting._


End file.
